Look, this is crazy. I don’t understand how I’m here, living this life, wearing this suit. I assume I’m going to pay for it someday…. And that’s okay. It seems fair to me. I just want to be ready for it. I want to meet it like a gentleman. — Ryan Gosling (via perfectgosling)
::Sigh:: So, today wasn’t my typical day. I kept my word, (not that I ever questioned going) and attended the balloon release in honor of Dana Bruce’s birthday that passed on July 10th. https://www.facebook.com/dana.b.page —There’s a little more info on what I’m talking about. In a nutshell though, Dana Bruce went missing from a local bar on October 4th, 2008.. and hasn’t been seen or heard from since. I mean, I guess that’s typical of a missing person case..or they wouldn’t be dubbed that.
The things that trouble me the most about her disappearance, is that she.. Unlike everyone I know, didn’t have a cell phone, debit card or drivers license.. No way of tracking her whereabouts after the night of the 4th. It’s easy for me to ASSume that whoever took her.. had to know these facts. A criminal out to commit such an act couldn’t get lucky (I hate using that word) enough to grab someone who wouldn’t be traceable. Or that’s how I see it.
Then there’s the fact that the media/law enforcement seem to have completely dropped the ball on the case. That pisses me off. The fact that everyone I KNOW, too knows how passionate I am in aiding in finding any information as to what happened that night.. Yet, none seem to give two shits about showing support. I shouldn’t have to beg, and I’m not going to throw a pity party.. but you people suck. I’ll leave it at.. But know that my thoughts are far more hateful than that.
I’ll keep it real. People joke about Dana Bruce’s disappearance. Yes, you read that right. I’ve heard numerous people make snide comments (they think are funny) and jokes about her being gone. Doing so in front of me, knowing that it pisses me off. Maybe that’s why they do it? I’m not sure. It’s pretty ridiculous anyways. I realize we’re all entitled to an opinion. We’re all passionate about different things. We were raised differently and see things indifferently. It’s a part of life. Finding humor in the disappearance of a human being though, is one thing I cannot wrap my mind around. From what I’ve read, she was blind in one eye, had a learning disability (?) was from the East side of town, and rumored to do drugs. Oh and heaven forbid, she went to the bar. So, let me attempt to figure this out. You are not worthy of being found, looked for, prayed for, or cared about if you’ve done or have any of the said above? Oh wait, that’s right.. I can’t wrap my mind around that or begin to understand it, because it’s ludicrous.
There are people that care about Dana Bruce. She left behind two beautiful children. I’m not a detective, but I’m pretty positive she didn’t leave them on her own free will.
Seeing her two precious children, Dylan and Destiny.. melted my heart, and in a sense gave me some peace. It’s one thing to look at a picture of her children and feel the sadness.. it’s another to look them in the eyes and feel their pain.
I’m sure they are too young to grasp exactly what has happened in their lives. But someday as they grow older, they will fully understand. I can only imagine how they will feel about it all as they age. If she’s never found.. if authorities continue to brush it under the rug. If the community continues to also pretend like it didn’t happen. Let’s be real. I’d feel hatred towards many.. I pray they feel the love that I have for them.. I pray that they know that not everyone has given up.
I failed to mention: I do not know Dana Bruce, never met her.. I was made aware of her the way so many others were- through her missing flyers throughout town. I donated flyers then, and tried my best to continue pushing for answers. Then everything fell silent for the last two years. No updated stories in the paper.. NOTHING. I went to the editor of the local paper and asked him to run her story again.. and sense I don’t want to relive the frustration I felt.. I’m going to simply say that he is a complete jackass with no heart. I ended up paying to have her picture placed in the paper.
I spent $163.00 on two ads being placed in the paper and three canisters of helium to be used during the balloon release. Seeing her children release balloons in her honor and seeing her photo in the paper twice in one week made it priceless. Think of how much we could do as a whole, if we cut back on stupid things we could go with out and put that $40.00 towards putting her picture and info in the paper. Eventually, someone will come forward will a valuable tip.
Before I start my rant on the rest of my day, I will end this Dana Bruce conversation with this. I told her children, “I’ve waited four years to hug you, to tell you that though I do not know you, I love you. People love you and care about you. We will find answers about your mommy.” If you think that their mom is a punch line to a joke, then you are a moron.
I get home at 3:00 and start cleaning out the basement, as we have an appraiser coming Tuesday and our house if full of junk we’ve yet to unpack. Or as I stated on my previous post, things I’ve hoarded. That went pretty smoothly since Adam took Abram (2) with him to get shop supplies. So it was just me and Gunnar.. He was easily entertained by walking on the treadmill. Then all hell breaks loose when he decides he has to poop. *He’s still learning to wipe his own butt* I hear him screaming from the bathroom that the house is flooding. Shit literally hit the fan. I tried explaining that it doesn’t take an entire roll of toilet paper to wipe your butt, but he sees it differently. So, I proceed to clean the mess up. Let the floor dry, then bleach and mop the floor twice. Yay- Go Me!
It’s not over with, that’s just the beginning of the rest of my patience going out the window. I retract my statement about all hell breaking loose earlier. It really occurred when Abram finally arrived home. This kid is so full of it. He does the most off the wall stuff. Stuff that you want to be pissed about and punish him, but he’s so adorable you can’t bring yourself to do anything about it.
Abram: Destroyer of Everything. Immediately puts “Yo Gabba Gabba “ on.. sings and dances like usual. He’s setting this all up in his mind. Be adorable and funny so when I make my next move, they can’t do anything to harm me.
I start his bed time bath. Notice it’s quiet, go see what he’s doing and he’s taken a cup of tea and dumped it all over the kitchen floor. Whatever right, no big deal. I proceed with bath time, get him all dried off and then go to the kitchen to get his milk.
As I’m walking down the hall to bring it to him, I notice he’s in the bathroom.. DUMPING AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF BLEACH ON THE FLOOR AND IN THE TOILET! Oh shut up. I know what a horrible mom, leaving bleach in reaching distance of a child.
You obviously don’t know him. I’ll have you know the bleach was put up.. where he shouldn’t of been able to reach it, let alone get the cap off. But he’s part monkey and can climb and has hulk smash genes and is capable of ripping off a bears head off. Any-who, I gave him a second bath and off to bed we go.
My house reeks of bleach, my eyes burn and my head hurts. The upside of it all.. the bathroom no longer smells like shit. It’s as sterile as it could possibly be. And I won’t have to shower for days now. He’s asleep now.. so I’m free from any further disasters til morning. Wish me luck as I will definitely need it. Oh.. hahaha lol.. I forgot this epic story. This morning, he stood on the couch and pissed on his brother.
That is all. Good night! <3
You may not know this, but there are several reality t.v shows based on the life of my family. Though we don’t get any credit for them, nor make a nice chunk of change. Wouldn’t that be nice though. Minus the humiliation that comes along with being followed by cameras and having millions of people viewing you, judging you and taking to the internet to verbally bash you. I’d like to think our life is far more entertaining, and since we have no one here to edit it (though there are many times through out the day I wish I could have a do over) it’s real.. all day every day..
Let me break this whole reality t.v. talk down for you. We own a tattoo studio, love guns and the 2nd amendment, have chickens, bunnies etc.. enjoy homesteading- though many like to call it ‘prepping’.. I dislike that term (for reasons I refuse to disclose).. I have entirely to much junk that I’ve accumulated over the years, and have two unruly little boys. So lets see.. “Miami Ink, “American Guns”, “Doomsday Preppers”, “Hoarders” and most def “Super nanny”. The little ones and myself also enjoy fist pumping through out the day.. but I’d hardly say we belong on the Jersey shore.
So Welcome to my blog. :) Let me introduce myself, I’m Jenn. I’m a 28 year old heavily tattooed mommy of two beautiful boys, Abram 2 and Gunnar 5. I am also the wife of an insanely talented tattooist, and devoted husband and father. There’s far more to me than that.. but it’s a great start eh?
Let it Begin…
The first thing I do in the morning, is pee..(of course wash my hands) brush my teeth, make my family breakfast, clean and theeen finally eat. I rarely have company, but find that no matter how many times a day I clean; it’s the 15 minutes of sitting on the couch while the children play and destroy it that someone decides to finally pop in. Leaving them with the impression that I do nothing through out the day. I often wonder too, how would “wife swap” (the t.v. show) work out in my life? It’d be pretty boring going to someone else home and not being able to scream at their children. And the poor lady that would be replacing me, would leave and immediately seek a therapist.
People often say they envy the fact that I get to stay at home with my children all day. Those people obviously see a stay at home mommy as a fantasy.. all lollipops and rainbows.. Like everything flows. Everything jives.. there are no moments of chaos. It’s all sitting on the couch watching t.v., teaching your children the essentials they need to learn to survive life. In reality, it’s a bunch of screaming for them to do what you want them to.. praying constantly for your nerves to be at ease.. and finally realizing the only way that’s going to actually take place is by taking your xanax as prescribed.
Oookay, so it’s not that bad. All the time anyways. I’m lucky to get to watch my children grow. To get to experience them learning new things first hand as opposed to hearing about it. And as annoying as they can be, their also very entertaining and comical.
I guesss it’s time to throw this in as well- Screaming is not the answer. It only teaches them that screaming is the way to get your point across. Yet, spanking doesn’t work either. That too teaches them that if someone one is doing something inappropriate, you must spank them. —that doesn’t go over to well with other children. I’ve also learned that my ‘parenting’ comes across as being bossy. As my five year old can not have a play date with out telling his friends exactly what must be done. -I think he’d make a great coach. It’s as if he has a play book for every move that must be made for every moment his friends will be staying. Maybe he’s trying to be the leader.
After breakfast, Gunnar’s day starts like this: He lets the chickens out, feeds and waters the rabbits and then searches for eggs before he’s off to preschool. While Abram spends his day something like this:
and when Gunnar returns home from school.. I sometimes get to see this-
And through out the day I get to put these…
back in the other side of the fence where they belong..
While I’m really dreaming I could be doing this…
Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up. — ― Ray Romano